Mind Blowing

The brain works in a strange strange way. They say that throughout your day it perceives subtleties and stores them in some secret space in your head. And then at night, it somehow connects the dots and spews out these things in the form of a dream. They also say that if you pay attention to these dreams they generally have some sort of significance. Well, that's what they say. Though I would certainly love an explanation of why in the past month or so my ex has appeared in my dreams as the main character. Now, if we actually had any kind of contact it may even make some sense. However, we haven't spoken in five years; we have absolutely no interaction; I don't really own anything of his anymore; there are no pictures of him around; I haven't even thought of him in years!

I guess if it were in passing then eh, one could chalk it up as your mind regurgitating some of your past to make room for some new stuff. A little like late spring cleaning. However it hasn't been in passing. If I were to keep count, I'd say that in the past month he's been appearing in my dreams about three times a week. The only exception being last week where he didn't appear at all. He must've been busy bugging someone else or maybe I was just serene or too tired to dream.

So I've been through the stages of annoyance thinking that he's been out of my life for half a decade and that's how I like it, why must he spoil it now? Then as the dreams continued I crossed the line of sanity and began to wonder if two people are connected somehow and maybe he's in some kind of trouble. Finally regaining my mental stability I figured the only explanation is the my subconscious is trying to tell me something and picking the most poignant way of doing it since I usually wake up in a foul mood.

And then as I try to analyze the dreams to interpret what in hell I could be trying to tell myself I think back to last night and all I can see is snippets of us in frozen alaskan desolation; a ski doo with the motor running; a helicopter coming over a snow covered hill and getting stuck in the trees as we run for cover; us trying to leave this frozen land and not having a plan; me attempting to park my truck in a tight space and him smiling along side my brother and shaking his head; jumping into a warm swimming pool and having a hard time resurfacing. None of this makes any sense to me at all. I don't see a reason for him to spoil my night's sleep so we can tromp though glaciers and nearly drown in a pool. None of these images have any significance to me nor do they spell out any poignant message.

As I sit here with my hot coffee troubled by this disturbance and seeing no definite lead, I'm prone to revert to my first conclusion that I've finally lost my mind and it's only perceptible while I'm in my incognitive state. So there you have it, I have officially lost my mind!