Irony

I've lived the better part of my life in Third World Countries. I think that title has long been replaced by newly emerging countries or newly developing countries. Though I may come across as brash, I can safely say that the sight of true poverty is not shocking to me. The round bellied barefoot children covered in flies that we have all seen on many documentaries of Africa were my neighbors. As foreigners ours was the only cement and stone house in a neighborhood of mud huts. Though on a whole other level from the locals, I know what it's like not to be able to find basic commodities some days of the week. It becomes a norm not to be able to get milk, eggs and sugar for days on end. I've seen the miles and miles of human queues lined up for their weekly ration of whatever commodity the government militias have decided to control. Truckloads of fully armed guards in green uniforms parked on street corners were just part of the daily routine. Sometimes they'd be handing out sugar and wheat that had been missing for weeks. Sometimes they'd be hording those same products and raiding the stores. I remember curfews where we were all ordered to be in our homes no later than midnight.

Despite all this 'emerging development' people lived with dignity. Their mud huts were always spotless and landscaped. The children didn't have shoes but they all had manners and respect. These issues most of us read about in the paper become part of your life and scenery when you are exposed to it for so long. Real true poverty is not shocking to me, or so I thought.

This week work brings me to Albany, state capital of New York. As I drive through the city I'm in total disbelief of what I see. Even the majestic and ornate government buildings that raise above the city do not distract from the dumpiness of this place. What may have been a vibrant industrial city at one point is now nothing short of what I have seen in war torn countries overseas. Human relics hanging around aimlessly on the street corners. Beautiful brick buildings that could be coveted in some areas by rich developers now have shattered windows and boarded up doorways. The streets are littered with signs of 'children at play'. Store fronts protected by chain link mesh. Multiple police cruisers outside of homes don't even attract any attention anymore. Teen age girls that are no more than children themselves bulging with procreation. Toys strewn on the street alongside the trash. Unkempt people lallygagging on stairways and fire escapes. Loud base music with foul language and no depth contours the scenery.

It is shocking to me to think that I now live in one of the richest countries of the world and it seemingly can't help itself. Is this not the self proclaimed most powerful nation on the planet? And if all this omnipotency is verity then why do places like this still exist within it? Third wold countries have an excuse and have been labeled for centuries as 'underdeveloped". At least Africa still has dignity. How about here? What is the excuse here? There is no excuse. Here it's a shame. In a country where everything one could possibly want is available, neighborhoods of people that can't even help themselves.

Photographic Memory

I feel like summer is coming quickly to an end and I haven't gotten a chance to really enjoy it. Life gets so busy and every day it's "oh yeah, I'll do it tomorrow" when it comes to having a little fun in the sun. Last night lying in bed wondering when it is I won't feel exhausted got me thinking about my last great adventure....



I'm thinking, sand the color of refined sugar



I'm thinking, water like glistening emeralds



I'm thinking, abodes with thatched roofs



I'm thinking, fruits and spices of strange denomination



I'm thinking, little fish, big fish, two fish and starfish



I'm thinking, oceans apart and worlds of differences



I'm thinking, MY feet in the sand



I'm thinking heaven on earth

I'm thinking Zanzibar!

How to lose 3lbs in 3 days

- Spend the weekend sitting on the kitchen floor removing staples from a subfloor
- Challenge your OCD by storing your fridge in the living room and the rest of your kitchen in your office
- Make sure you have a sore backed horse that needs light exercise and tons of stretching
- Take on the responsibility of TWO dogs, one of which is a puppy that isn't house trained
- Ensure you have a needy and demanding Kit around to overload your patience
- Find a way to make dinner without the use of a stove or the need for counters while you make sure you keep up your puppy training, because God Forbid you "order take out when YOU can just grill!"
- Work a full time job with a huge Monday deadline and a trip
- Be too busy to eat lunch, too in a hurry to stop for breakfast and too tired to eat dinner

Three more days to go of this living hell and then MAYBE life will be back to normal.

Post Secret #2

I'm redoing the floors in my kitchen and getting a new dining table. I would loooove to have a nice garden cocktail party with some well mannered friends. Garden lights. A little bon fire. Colored drinks in martini glasses. Thing is, I don't like one guy's snotty girlfriend. I don't want her to know where I live. I don't want her near my house. I sure as hell don't want her 'IN' my house. Therefore I opt not to have a party because not inviting him in not an option.

Wasted Minutes.

"Hey...It's me.
Just checking in.
Hope you are having a good day."

This is the message left on my cell phone the other day, not once but twice and from the same person. It really says nothing. Gives no useful information. And why do you feel the need to "check in"? How is that for a waste of minutes.

And since I'm on a roll at this point...it would be really nice that when you bust your ass for someone, they, at one point actually make you feel appreciated instead of going about their lives like everything is owed to them. Friggin people!

Lesson Learned Listening and Observing

Sometimes bar conversations are very odd. Yesterday for example I found myself in the middle of one of the oddest conversations ever. Though I didn't quite participate because I had nothing intelligent to say, I did take notes as the rest of the crew proceeded to define human interaction. And I quote vebatum:

Friend - A person who immediately drops everything they are doing and comes running when you need them. A person who asks if you need help even when you don't need it.

Relationship - He or she with whom one makes daily and long term plans and eventually gets to meet your family. He or she everyone asks about when they aren't seen with you and despite them thinking you're a weird combination. He or she that can read you without having to talk. That one person that 'gets' you. The one you call when you are down and out and whose simple voice can regenerate your spirits. He (or she) that you call when you are in trouble or have big news.

Lover - One who may or may not have a current relationship. Lives a life of subterfuge and juggles people, commitments and plans in order to knit you into his daily routine. Rarely but at times may consider you a priority. Occasionally fantasizes bout simplifying it all by airing it to the public and watching their jaws drop in shock. Normally feels somewhat trapped between what he wants and what he has. Generally undecided.

Booty call - Also one who may or may not have a current relationship. Usually too self absorbed by their needs and lives to give much time or thought to said current relationship to make any forward movements, let alone develop any deep interests for someone other than themselves. Normally keeps more than one person bobbing on the end of a line as a fall back. Generally will dedicate minimal effort required to cultivating and maintain a connection which translates into no more than a day a week and includes the satisfaction of bodily needs. Has no intention of developing a deeper connection.

Sibling - Someone who may or may not share DNA but unlike the others above, you aren't given the opportunity to chose.

Huh?

I am absolutely certain that I want to get a dog (I even have the puppy picked out!) and a cat (or two) at some point. However I don't have the same certainty as to wether I want to be in a relationship. How messed up is that??

Miles n miles n miles

Yesterday I spent about ten hours in the car. Just over 286 miles of it was nothing but a rolling road with nothing to look at but trees, the other two hundred miles was God's country. The only radio stations that came in without static were either country music or praise Jesus stations. Though it may sound like an uneventful trip, in retrospect it wasn't.

I took pictures out my windshield.
I figure I listened to about 4 hours worth of Country Music - enough to last me a life time.
I spotted one friendly "farmer's crack" as he was bent over tilling and totally oblivious to mooning traffic.
I watched a galloping gelding conquer the hills in his paddock, mane and tail to the wind.
I flew by a tepee too fast to photograph it.
I caught a glimpse of a doe prancing with her foal.
I encountered two original mini coopers with New Jersey license plates placed over the english plates.
I ate half of a terrible store bought sandwich.
I fixed my palat from the terrible sandwich with an itty bitty but yummy ice cream.
I stopped to use the bathroom only once.
I kicked myself countless times for not bringing more water to drink.
I saw a huge lemon peel-yellow house with green shutters and it didn't even look as hideous as it sounds.
I drove 25mph for 25 miles and it was wearing on my nerves.
I passed 32 farmer's markets and 2 street fairs.
I slowed down for six major road work sites.
I was unable to count all the cows I saw.
I counted five tractors at work.
I smelled the sweetness of fresh hay being tossed.
I pitied 3 groups of motorcyclists looking for shelter from the storm.
I crossed 5 bodies of water.
I came across one accident.
I spotted four tourists because the cameras around their necks were a dead giveaway.
I figured I was in no man's lad when I saw two signs for bear crossings.
I listened to 10 minutes of french music before I wanted to blow my brains out.
I chuckled at an SUV pulling a camper that looked like a silver toaster oven.
I witnessed three beautiful lightning bolts and a rainbow.
I drove through a cloud of feathers from someone running over a turkey.
I repressed only one urge to commit road rage thanks to a pick-up driving cammo-cap wearing redneck asshole.

It truly was God's country with every property located on lush green acres of land hundreds of feet away from their closest neighbor. The perfect place for a people hater like myself was a little house in the prairie listed at $105,000. It's unfortunate it's so damn far from the Ocean and that's an imperative.

Vino

My memory sucks but I know one thing for sure...I got a lot to say. So one day, I think I'm gonna get good and loaded and just say exactly what I have been holding back on for so many years. Consequences might not be what I desire but heck, they say in vino veritas and I for sure can't seem to express myself without a little help. Consequences I'll learn to deal with and they may reveal a lot more than what I had in store.

Mnemonic

Last post WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18, 2008. That's 11 days ago! Wooow! It's not that I've been on vacation because I've been right here. Then one would consequently think that I'm out of stuff to write. The truth is that I have hundreds of thoughts a day. More like thousands of thoughts a day that all could translate into topics of blogs. Strangely as it may sound I do entertain deep thoughts of sociopolitical issues like wondering how it is that in this day and age events such as Darfur still occur and the average Joe is clueless. However throughout the day the thoughts are a bit less intense;

* I wonder why someone as laid back as me is then profoundly annoyed by little things like others leaving empty toothpaste tubes
* I have homicidal thoughts for those who drive slower than the speed limit on a highway's left hand lane.
* I attempt to solve the mystery as to why things run hot and cold with the DQ
* I mull over why everything that tastes so good is so bad for you
* I ponder over feeling fat lately and not knowing how to fix it
* I question why my attorney takes so long to get back to me but I'm afraid to ask the questions
* I dread the 4th of July commitment and I scheme on how to get out of it
* I marvel at how someone like me can finally be blessed by a job she loves and wonder how long it will last
* I obsess over figuring out what in God's name he sees in her and not me
* I speculate about my issues with relationships
* I count the reasons why I think people suck and when I think I'm done they go and do something else that makes them suck even more
....and on and on it goes.

As you can see I blog all day long in my mind. I'll lay awake in bed flipping through pages of a book and half my mind is thinking something else. There just hasn't been any time in a day to gather ones thoughts in a cohesive manner and blog about them. Just as there hasn't been much time on the part of others to read these silly and mindless posts. Wouldn't it all be so easy if we were Johnny Mnemonic and could just plug in and download.